Before I was living openly as Trisha, I had an appreciation for the time a woman required to prepare, but it was nothing like the reality I now live.

I've been asked numerous times over the years how different for me it was living 24/7 as a woman – specifically regarding the time it takes for me get ready or to perform normal everyday activities.  

 

 

And as far as sophistication, I’m probably equivalent to a late teenage girl (maybe I’m up to early 20’s by now…).  Now and then I’ll ask for advice on the colors I’m choosing or matching the style of clothing to the jewelry I would like to wear that day.  I've learn that a hair dryer is for styling one’s hair – not for drying it – I wouldn't of thought it!  I now realize that additional Time is needed to make sure my fingernails and toenails are trimmed and proper.  Body hair maintenance (not just facial, but legs, arms, chest, etc.) is a huge time component.  If I’m going  anywhere outside the house, time is spent on choosing the style and look I want that day – things like where I’m going, who I’ll see, casual (and exactly how casual) and ( message I want to project) and what the weather is like, all go into that decision.  Thought goes into matching shoes, jewelry, outfit, purse and to what type of hair style, lip stick and perhaps a small amount of makeup I should wear... 

For the most part today, I view myself as having partially transitioned to a woman or more precisely to a female (was born a woman).  Even during my coming out stages and staying in cheap out-of-the-way places, I was never miss-gendered.  Which I consider somewhat remarkable given I traveled through some very conservative cities.

Yes!, there are still some dysphoric moments:  my hair will be wet or blown and my face will look to masculine, a combination of clothes might make me look not feminine enough and there are times in a public place that I just have this feeling, uncomfortable and want to leave.  But a lot of my female friends feel this way at times as well.

There was a phase I went through where I felt I had to be overly feminine, perhaps out of a fear of not passing or perhaps that finally when I started living openly as Trisha, I had a lot to catch up on.  My girlfriends would call that ‘fru fru’! However, I do love to find a ‘fancy’ event so that I can dress up a bit! I’m now settling on a style!  I’m mostly wearing mid to long skirts with tank top along with 3 inch wedge sandals (1.5 -> 3″) and almost always earrings and a necklace, sometimes a bracelet as well.  I like leggings and nice blouses when I'm out grocery shopping but will wear jeans and tank tops when taking hikes...

I have four wonderful women that I’m privileged to have as mentors as I transitioned to living 24/7.  Cathy and Mary of course who live in the same condo complex and two others that belong to the support group I belong too... Mary is the only one that would wear a dress or a skirt to just about anywhere she goes.  Almost everyone else is in blouses, tank tops and jeans or leggings... All four of them has been my inspiration for many things, and style was one of them.  Both Mary and Cathy also ran interference for me when I first started using the women’s restroom.  The other two woman has also been an inspiration and huge help.  I would best describe two of them as a ‘wild woman’ in the best way – the way we all should aspire too.  Mary on the other hand is my conservative mentor – right down the middle of the other three.  She keeps my feet on the ground and everything ‘real’.  I’m fortunate to have these four woman around me and mentoring me.

 

Trisha Roberts

19th March 2020

 

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